I’m talking about the damage that being forced through a system or structure created to serve itself causes. Add any kind of history of trauma and this system tips the scales into crisis.

Name the structure and we can identify the damage it causes to people who have to endure it.

The specific structure of course that I am referring to here is the medical system.

We all experience traumas… Carrying the load of healing is hard all on it’s own; adding the gauntlet of the medical system seems inhumane.

The medical system is funded politically. Funds are allocated by the government based on the decisions of government officials and boards of directors made up of investors and stakeholders with very little regard for serving anyone but themselves; and a narrow scope of how life is lived outside of the top tiers of society.

Decisions are made by people wealthy enough to pay for any private medical services they require, no expenses spared. No deciding between food or medicine for these folks. They are accustomed to the best of the best.

Make no mistake. The medical system is a trauma minefield!

First flaw; a lack of fluidity between mental health and physical health. They are entirely separate!!!

The polarity between the support I needed for my physical symptoms and the support I needed for my complex post traumatic stress disorder symptoms almost broke me.

I couldn’t find anyone in either system that could help me with both!!

I would ask about my central nervous symptoms, and pain… ask about my emotional symptoms with the physical doctor… no one could help me connect the dots. They all left me disappointed and more and more helpless.

The mental healthcare system has been heavily underfunded since it’s inception. People have been forced to suffer through the effects of trauma alone, in fear of the stigmatization and treatment of patients who need mental health support.

Until you have had no choice but to be on the receiving end of this “care” you will not resonate with what this truly means. But those who know, know.❤️

Structural damage starts at the basic care level and extends into every crevasse.

Long wait times amplify symptoms, and symptoms amplify chaos and fear.

The more I connect with others and hear their story of their personal battle through the gauntlet that is the system the more I believe that the structure is causing way more harm than help!

Basic care has doctors booking 10 minute appointments, and throwing their hands up at you for seeking help beyond the prescription pad.

I don’t know any person with a complex chronic illness that can explain everything that is going on with them; and thoughts about how symptoms might connect in 10 minutes; unless you bring notes or a power point or something.

I bring notes, and a whole file of medical documents and my own research with me to appointments. Because intakes cause medical ptsd symptoms for me now.

Why?

System damage.

The system that supports the most vulnerable is broken, and it has been for decades.

Long before the thing in which we do not speak of arrived in 2019.

It is because it is a system for the system by the system that has been underfunded and under resourced for decades.

In 2021 I could not be helped because we couldn’t get the emailed req off my phone and into their system by email- because they only use fax. How does this happen?

The patient has insurance to cover the cost of the medications that are prescribed using the supply chain that is the medical system.

When you step back and understand the structure of the systems, it is easier to adjust your expectations about the kinds of help available.

When someone is facing the courageous act of healing, the last thing they need is structural damage on top of it all.

I continue to be an advocate for post traumatic growth…. But if we can bring light to the issues within the structures, perhaps we can advocate for change there too!

I hope sharing my journey through helps you advocate for a more trauma informed journey for yourself!

A component of my complex ptsd diagnosis is medical trauma caused by years of structural damage.

-B. 💋