Love does not isolate, it does not judge, it does not discriminate and it certainly doesn’t stigmatize.
Love does not attack and abandon.
Love does not allow someone to suffer alone.
Love does not create obstacles to itself, it is people who create obstacles to love.
Love is a thousand choices that we make.
Love is a commitment to how we show up for each other.
Love is the effort that goes into understanding someone on a deeper level.
Love is connecting in the present moment with the other person, holding space for them.
Love. Everyone will have their own definition of it, some of us were told that colourful forms of abuse are love. Some of us endured neglect because our adults were engulfed in surviving; and they themselves had never experienced authentic love.
To some, being “loved”meant being controlled, or being burdened with adult responsibilities, or even actions “for your own good”. This is not love, this is survival, this is trauma, this is abuse. Intentional or not, no one truly escapes their upbringing, and it’s psychological impact based on what you received or didn’t as a child.
As we all walk the path of life, I think it is important to define love for yourself in a meaningful way. To let go of the definitions that you choose not to replicate; because you know better, we have better information.
Define how you want to live, and how you want to love for yourself and then live by what you decide.
I decided when I was young that when I had the reigns to my life I would do things differently; and I have.
I am so grateful for the era in which I get to live my life. The access to information I have today gives me advantages that generations before me only dreamed of. If I have a biological, medical or psychological question I can use the internet to ask the 1000 questions that could never fit into a medical appointment. Then I ask the important questions once I get there, and get better answers. The accessibility to the information that we have now truly had a huge impact on my healing, because it has given me a base for self advocacy, and that is part of what has saved my life.
It was in this research that I was able to put together my physical and emotional symptoms and connect it all back to self love, and the love and support of safe and healthy community as the best healing tools for basically any ailment. But it is in community that every aspect of healing is expedited.
We are not meant to be isolated, our basic needs, especially belonging are alive in us and especially when we are “at our worst”.
When a human is behaving out of character for them, or maybe even having a temper tantrum, they need belonging and acceptance in those moments. Not to be driven away and invalidated left with a layer of aloneness in an already chaotic state for them emotionally.
Leaving a human in emotional distress alone and isolated is cruel, because regulation comes from experiencing examples of regulation in central nervous system safety. The fastest way to regulate a central nervous system is to bring a regulated one near it. That is a fact. This is why babies calm with touch. It’s all in the regulation.
Belonging and community are key healing factors, you don’t get the full affect from the healing until you have integrated into community and truly hold a sense of belonging in your heart, that is healing.
That is feeling whole, that is the definition of a fulfilled life.
I’m so grateful to use the same technology that saved my life to spread my self love knowledge with groups of people, in communities where healing is encouraged and feelings are welcome! I am creating High Vibes Lifestyle Society – a community for cultivating self love for the greater purpose of healing.
The truth is witnessing and supporting someone is a challenge, and almost always even the people we love don’t know how to support us the ways that we need to be for this type of growth and healing. Find a healthy community that supports, understands and holds space for your journey.
Love does not isolate, criticize or judge- those are all personal reflections of the human projecting them upon you. Remember that.
Self love is never selfish. Sometimes it is all we have left.
Broken people isolate, judge and dismiss the feelings of others. Hurt people hurt people, that is not love it is just a circle of hurt.
Love does not isolate.