Hold your judgements; this is my journey, not yours.

And… I’m late for warrior practice!

Post traumatic growth and judgement from others will always be bonded together in our judgmental,stigmatizing, segregating societies.

It is a social norm, and it is disgusting to me.

Just look at how people are segregating other people however they can by color, sexual orientation, nationality, abilities, wealth, vaccination status, physical stature, race, religion, etc this list could go a mile!

Judgment will come no matter what. Just be aware of that, and be your most authentic self anyway.

Shine your light brighter, right in their judgemental faces. Be you, authentically you, let them judge, allow for it. Remind yourself that if you are bothering them by being you, that’s on them.

So those of us that choose post traumatic growth as a lifestyle are signing up for the relentless judgment and criticism from all of those around us, but especially those who even claim to love us.

The choices we make for ourselves are criticized and often even sabotaged by those closest to us, after all we are making changes away from the bad habits we all created together!

Changing your lifestyle to better yourself is criticized by those who haven’t figured those pieces out yet, and celebrated by those who have.

There has never been much said about the path between trauma and post traumatic growth. Typically this is the butterfly phase , where the majority of the population hides in their Cacoon, only to emerge when they are “all better”. People retreat into themselves or addictions because of the fear of rejection they receive for admitting what they need to survive.

This is why it is so celebrated by those of us who have emerged the other side, we know it is harsh and lonely and we know what it takes to make it through to post traumatic growth.

Warriors celebrate the survival of other warriors it’s what we do!!

So, what about for the people like me, who have come to find out that the cocoon method just isn’t going to be in line with my enhanced values; or moral code of ethics. But I wasn’t quite feeling like a warrior yet?

We practice, and it looks a little sloppy at first, because we need practice. Hence the practicing!

It got gritty there at times, and I wanted to give up. But I didn’t. I practiced being a warrior instead.

It might appear messy the way that I have done my journey but it isn’t. It’s just my journey, the conversations and emotional out bursts were things that needed releasing, then boundaries were established to create a healthy environment (my hypothetical caccoon) followed by repeated efforts, in the face of failures I pushed forward.

I’d be some hypocrite to be asking others to be the changes we wanted to see if I were not doing the work for myself.

I practiced being a warrior, rather than submitting… over and over.

I failed and I learned and I tried again, broken and battered, bruised and scared.

I kept standing up, like a warrior.

Post traumatic growth is unchartered territory for the majority of people. It was new for me too, but I learned to be braver faster to become a warrior in my own story.

The only people who seem to have ever heard of post traumatic growth are emerging trauma practitioners, and trauma focused counselling and coaching practitioners.

Trauma is becoming more widely understood out of necessity as the world is still in the midst of the chaos/ aftermath confusion of the pandemic.

In hindsight we are able to see things more clearly, so I have the advantage of both perspectives here.

This journey is mine, all mine. It might get a little messy, but that’s okay, I’m a little messy sometimes. I think we all are; Ive simply decided not to be ashamed of my emotions, or myself anymore.

I get to choose my path and make my own decisions based on what I know. I ought to be able to live without judgement, but the reality is that judgment is a trait that many carry through their lives. It is easy to judge me I’m sure, and judge away if you believe it will serve you.

You could waste your time judging my journey, or you could set out to be your own warrior or your own journey.

Until you’ve lived my journey your judgement will never have authority over my decisions so put your energy elsewhere and save us all your judgment. We have warrior practice to attend!

Hold your judgment; this is my journey not yours… and I am late for warrior practice.

-B.💋

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